It has recently been brought to my attention that I worry too much about what everyone else thinks of me. The more I think about it, the more I realize how true this statement is.
I am constantly troubled by the idea of upsetting others, being embarrassed, being judged, what I can do to keep everyone else happy… FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, I NEED TO CUT THAT CRAP OUT. Why on Earth do I care so much?
I used to be notorious for being a pretty big bitch. I had an attitude about most things and was argumentative about everything. Since I possess a logical mindset, most of my opinions are pretty well thought out. If anyone had an opposing view, they were in for a rude awakening (and I mean that literally).
When I allowed myself to evolve past JUST being Negative Nicky, I simply committed to not being consumed in that way of thinking anymore. I started making efforts to be kind, genuine, thoughtful, etc. I was all of these things before but they were overshadowed by the dark cloud of confrontation that I was carrying with me everywhere I went.
My unceasing worrying has, in turn, made me uptight. I stress out and overthink pretty much everything. I hold myself back from doing things I really enjoy (singing in the car, dancing around like an idiot, etc.) in front of people because I feel like they’ll mock me.
(Even saying the words right now sounds absurd! Worst-case scenario is you get teased a little, but it’s all out of love! So what the hell is my deal??)
When I find a way to relax or I surround myself with people that I’m super comfortable with, a side of me comes out that is so much more lively and fun. I want that me around as often as possible instead of only around in the presence of a couple of loved ones. It’s time to take some more action.
I need to find a way to break free from all of this. I want to be more carefree. There’s nothing wrong with acting like a fool from time to time! Who cares if someone thinks it’s silly?
I’ve recently made some pretty hefty changes to my life in my attempt to break out of the rut I’ve been in for far too long. I am way too young to act this wound up all the time. I want joy, fun, and happiness to consume my world and let worry, stress, and anxiety take a back seat for once.
Life is too dang short to be anything but happy! It’s not going to be easy to break habits I’ve become so accustomed to. I’m certainly giving it my all and am looking forward to see what happens from here.
Smile more, worry less, and happily Decide Bliss.