My Husband is Going to be a Better Parent than Me

A young man blissfully holding a sweet three month old baby girl tenderly and looking at her with love and affection, while the baby rests peacefully in his arms

Oh What a Night with Nia

Flashback to September 14th of 2017, the day my niece Nia was born. She is my older sister Barbara’s daughter. The plan was for me to be in the delivery room alongside my badass sister. Man, was I honored when she asked me! The Universe had another plan altogether though. That plan involved the hospital she was going to give birth at swiftly sending her home, saying she was not dilated. Their advice: “Take a hot shower to calm down and power through your contractions.”

My husband, Prash, and I drove to the hospital and rushed to my sister’s aid with a wheelchair in tow because her contractions were that bad. We wheeled her the very long distance to her parked car and Prash helped her into the passenger seat of her SUV. Prash then drove her car because I had left a work team meeting and was in my company car (that only I can drive). I followed behind as we were heading to my sister’s home when… damn… rush hour Boston traffic. Needless to say, I lost them on 93 South.

Guess what happened next? With the brilliant help of the Randolph Fire Department, Canton Fire Department, two MA State Troopers, and my husband, my sister gave birth to Nia on the side of the 93 South highway on ramp towards 24 South. Prash helped deliver a baby! And not just any baby, our niece. My boss of a sister pushed out her baby girl (and her first child) in the back of her car. What an incredible birthing story.

MA State Police standing side by side after giving birth to baby Nia on the side of the 93 South HighwayFiremen and Police at the site of a baby delivery. Baby Nia was born on September 14, 2017 on the side of the 93 South highway in Massachusetts. The baby and Mom are healthy and well due to the forces that came to assist.

The Present

Fast forward to the present, where Nia is now 3 months old and Prash and I get the privilege to watch her regularly as my sister’s maternity leave nears its end. Can we say obsessed with that little girl? The Aunt and Uncle Love is real! Not surprisingly, it has ignited the topic of Prash and I actually starting our own family, since my endometriosis (according to my doctor) is under control.

The Dream

The other day, I had a dream that I was pregnant and going into labor. This was one of those dreams, where it feels SO REAL, you wake up disoriented and convinced it happened in real life. It was incredibly high-stress. So much so that I was on edge until about 6pm that day. Thankfully, my dear Nicky helped snap me out of my crazy because, of course after telling Prash, I immediately told her about my dream.

When I tell you that I now know what I will feel like whilst pregnant, do not doubt me. The baseline level of franticness I had while carrying our children was borderline insanity. The Badiana that is writing this post is a reasonably chill person; my feathers do not get ruffled easily. I feel my feelings as much as I can and let them go in a reasonable time which allows me to have a very glowy, beautiful outlook on life, people, and myself. However, this dream has scared me straight into believing I will become a high-strung nutcase the moment I hear a doctor tell me, “You are pregnant.”

The dream was beautiful, don’t get me wrong. I was so impressed with what my body could do and the level of love and fierce protection. But I was a high-risk pregnancy and there was this level of constant stress throughout the entire dream that even as I’m typing this post, I cannot wrap my head around.

The Prash Parenting Power

Let’s get back to why my husband is winning the parent game. I am not mad at this! I am actually quite impressed and grateful that he will be by my side throughout this journey, because my premonitory dream alludes to me being a perma-frantic nutter.

First, he assisted in delivering our niece. The level of calm he had to have to make all the right moves in calling for help, keeping my sister as stable as possible, and not having a complete meltdown (like I feel like I would have if I was in his place) is astonishing. See, everything happens for a reason, Blissers!

Secondly, the way he is with Nia. My mind is racing a mile a damned minute when we are watching her. Is she hungry? Is she suffering? Why is she crying? Is she crapping herself? Is her brain being properly stimulated by the sounds we have playing in the room? Am I advancing her intelligence with my words and conversation? Am I showing her enough nature? It’s insane the onslaught of questions that run through my brain, all while I feign calmness and composure. So although I am outwardly looking calm and internally melting down, my husband over here is successfully calm and composed. He accepts what is happening in the moment and just flows with it, without any signs of stress-inducing mind chatter. I am literally in awe of this skill. We do not even have kids yet and I am impressed.

The Skeptic and her Acceptance

It is a skill I may never acquire when I embark on this motherhood journey. Thankfully, I have my girl Nicky ready to regularly de-stress me because I have had this exact conversation with her more than once ever since the dream. She continues to be my beacon of light (as is my hubby) reminding me I will be a wonderful mother. In the meantime, I am skeptical. But I have baby Nia as practice which will hopefully reduce my skepticism. At the very least, she will allow me to accept that even though I may be a high-strung crazed maniac, I can still be a great Mom, great wife, and great friend that will eternally Decide Bliss.

♥♥ Comment Below – let me hear your wildest pre-Mom or Mom stories. Don’t let me feel crazy alone. ♥♥

Badiana
Managing Editor at Decide Bliss
Badiana is a business women, yogi and writer from Massachusetts. She is known to be a bubbly optimist, but few know she is actually quite introverted. The things she loves most in life are family, friends, nature, her spirituality and her unending quest to harness more joy in her own life as well as helping others to do the same.
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5 thoughts on “My Husband is Going to be a Better Parent than Me

  1. Love your blog. It is so positively honest. Need a little more of that lately. I am a Mom and want to say you are not crazy. I think motherhood is a range of things and this slightly heightened level of fear (let’s say like it is) is so common for a women because your heart is walking outside of your body. You are doing great. Keep it up ladies, you are going places.

    1. Thank you so much Lisa! We appreciate your support and feedback. Fear is indeed the truth. I definitely have fear around motherhood. Do not want to lose myself in motherhood because I take pride in the woman that I have created myself to be. Love and hugs to your little ones and thanks for validating my crazy 😜

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