I’m a talker. It’s how I work through problems, express my emotions, and generally feel connected to people. I want to know your hopes, your dreams, your take on spirituality, your taste in music, your favorite dessert, that funny joke you heard today, EVERYTHING. I love lighthearted conversations about absolutely nothing and I also love amazingly deep conversations about the real YOU. Come lay it all on me!
This topic was lightly touched on when Badiana and I discussed the importance of acknowledgment. In that post, we also talked about the fact that my primary Love Language is Words of Affirmation. Those that know me know this to be factual. I like to hear that I’m important as much as I like to express it to others. When someone simply assumes I inherently “know” something when they’ve never actually said the words to me, I go bananas! Come on now!
When I think back to some of the best nights of my life with those that I love, can you guess the common activity that was occurring? More often than not, it involved amazing conversation until the wee hours of the morning. Some were nights on the beach, some were driving around town aimlessly with the radio on, and some were simply sitting around at someone’s house. The conversations range from food to the Universe to vacations to the afterlife. The location never mattered and the topic wasn’t necessarily important; the people and the interactions themselves were everything I needed to be my happiest self.
Speaking is therapy for me. As the words flow from my mouth, clarity presents itself. It helps me sort through the chaos that clouds my mind and create some sort of order. In getting all of the frustrations out, I can see through the bitterness that sometimes lingers. It’s all very cathartic, so long as you’re venting this sort of stuff to someone trustworthy. I’m lucky enough to have a handful of amazing people that I can tell anything and everything to without fear of judgment or ridicule.
I also like to be conversed with! I want to know where people stand on things. If I’m left to my own devices, who knows what this nuthouse of a brain of mine will concoct in its solitude. (You’d be amazed how quickly I can jump to worst-case scenario.) I want to feel important enough for you to put down your dang phone and for you to care about what I have to say as well.
If you keep everything in, it can fester. Before you know it you’ll be exploding on someone over the most trivial discrepancy because you can only hold it all in for so long. Find a safe place or a safe person to get it all out, and get it all out!
Stop Hiding Behind a Screen
See, that’s part of the problem with people today – they don’t spend enough time ACTUALLY TALKING to one another. This world of only texting and Facebook chat confuses me. How can you even compare a real-life conversation to a texting one?? There’s no emotion, no eye contact, no way to properly gauge tone… It’s not the same and it’s definitely not enough. Call me old fashioned, but I want more!
Please, take the time to show those in your life that they are worth your undivided attention. Let them witness your personality in the sincerity, humor, or sarcasm in your voice as you tell about your day. Listen to them as they tell you about something that has been bothering them. REALLY listen, don’t just pretend to or wait for your next chance to do the talking. Human interaction is important! Expressing yourself is important. Listening to your loved ones is important. Can you tell I mean business here?
Put down the electronics, grab a beer/tea/coffee/hot cocoa, and strike up a conversation! Then remind yourself to always intently Decide Bliss.