Blubbering hot messes? Uh, we don’t think so!
A trait we both share is a tendency to always want to have it all together. Most of our lives have been spent swallowing down tears because we rarely ever saw our mothers cry. And when we would cry in front of them? They would get super uncomfortable and give us the “why are you crying?” look. (Obviously, our mothers share similar qualities!) On our own, we each eventually concluded that crying is for babies and babies alone. A good cry was occasionally indulged upon, but only as sobbing to sleep where no one could see. Badiana wafted through life pushing down any emotions that were not tied to happiness, joy, and optimism, while Nicky became exceptionally good at being mad. This resulted in both of us putting an ungodly amount of pressure on ourselves to always have it together.
Let Go, Let God
Folks, let us tell you firsthand that crying is THE BEST. If you need to cry every day to let go of some of the stuff you carry around, for Heaven’s sake, CRY EVERY DAMN DAY.
We used to equate tears with weakness or submission. As we mature and watch age soften our wonderful mothers, an epiphany arose: crying is a necessary release. It helps you let go. It helps you dust your shoulders off and try again after being knocked down once or twice (or maybe a few dozen times). We know all about what keeping your emotions inside does. Our bodies become riddled with dis-ease that we have no explanation for: aches, pains, chronic colds, headaches, acne, hormone imbalances, stomach issues, etc. This is partially due to our inability to surrender and let go of our junk. It is humanly impossible to always have it together. Plus, life is actually far more entertaining when you can laugh obnoxiously at the bloopers that are tossed your way, like the realization that you may need braces in your thirties when the baby tooth that never fell out decides to give up and let go. It’s a real thing and it’s hilarious.
This is Us
The latest emotional Nile River of tears was triggered from watching NBC’s hit show This is Us. If you have not watched that show, please consume yourself in the raw truth of it. It is awesome. One of our favorite characters is also a person who takes on everything for the sake of his family, career, and kids, and he just snaps. Life becomes too much for him to control. It shows physically at first, and then it results him having a mental breakdown. Watching Randall come undone made us realize that we were taking on too much and not effectively dealing with our own emotions. We began to unravel at the seams at the stress we were taking on.
Sometimes it takes a minute to realize what is happening to us, but fighting the feelings like we did for years is not the answer. When the emotions rise to the surface, greet them and let them consume you. Once those tears are wiped away and dried, take a second to enjoy the relief of it and smile. Whatever you do next, Decide Bliss.