Make Yourself and your Friends a Priority

me time, solo, perspective, clear your head

People automatically jump to the conclusion that you’re unhappy in your life or being selfish if you request a breather here and there to focus on YOU. I want to break free from this absurd concept! Time devoted to you and spent with friends is a much-needed reprieve that should not be overlooked or forgotten. “ME TIME” must be a priority.

Maternal Guilt?

I love my family. Curtis and Olivia make me incredibly happy! But sometimes I get fried. I put too much on my plate and take on more than I should. Majority of it is my own fault; I’m a control freak and when you want something done your way, you have to do it yourself.

After a particularly hard week, I have decided that now is the time to change things up. I don’t want to become burnt out and have it trickle down and negatively impact my family. For starters, there is no need for me to be present every second or be part of every little thing. Not only is Curtis more than capable of handling the time Olivia spends with us, it’s honestly probably better for their relationship if I allow them alone time to bond solely as father and daughter.

I don’t ever want Curtis or Olivia to think that I don’t want to be with them. I experience something equivalent to guilt even thinking about it. Part of me thinks that Liv is only with us half the week and I should ensure I’m present during that time, for her. But honestly, is that what they even think when I take a day to myself? Or is that simply me overthinking, per usual? In reality, they probably don’t even notice. They just go about their day as the two of them instead of the three of us – and that’s fantastic.

Superman Complex

I have a complex that makes the need to constantly care for everyone seem like an obligation. In doing this, I forget to make myself a priority. I forget that I need to just be sometimes. Goofing around with my friends and laughing for hours needs to happen more frequently. I need to not worry for a little while. There should be times I can vent to people that know me and know my situations and that never judge based off of what they hear in a heated moment. Sitting alone in a room and reading or surfing Pinterest without guilt for not paying attention to someone or not doing something is OKAY. I need time for ME.

I cannot do everything for everyone. Sometimes, I get this insane notion in my head that everything is solely my responsibility. I am not the only adult around here! There’s no need for me to be taking on so much all the time. What I want and what I need are every bit as important as what everyone else wants and needs. Why do I never put my own needs at the forefront of my attention? I’ve always been this way – sufferer of the Superman Complex. The woman that unnecessarily tries to do it all.

The Trinity

  

I am graced with the greatest best friends a girl could ever ask for. I’m convinced they’re actually soulmates of mine, destined to endure life’s amazing ups and downs right by my side. They have been my saving graces more times than I can count. Being around them has brought me unparalleled joy when I start to feel like I’m about to break. They level me out so I stop making things worse than they are, providing me with a break from my inner uncensored over-analyzing. These two know me even more than I know myself and are able to provide the insight that my own emotions cloud.

Making time for the three of us, my Trinity, has recently proven to not only be beneficial for my sanity but it also reminds me of what I want from life. It helps me sort out the chaos in my head so I can tackle hardships with a fresh perspective. They remind me of my own wants and needs when I leave them on the back burner for a little too long. They look out for my best interest when I get caught up and forget to.

That’s love.

These kinds of comrades fill up your love tank like no one else can. After all, you can’t pour from an empty cup, right?

MAKE YOURSELF A PRIORITY

Take a second and really think about it – what do you NEED?

I need to call it like it is in my life. Sometimes it’s all too much, and that’s ok!

I need to make time to do the things that I want to do, whether or not I have company doing them. Need the ocean air? Get in the car and go. Need Christmas lights to lift my spirits? Stroll around La Salette until I’m frozen. If I need it, I need to just do it!

I need to have alone time once a week to hit the refresh button in my head.

I need to make time for my friends. Although I text with them constantly, physically being in the room with them makes all the difference in the world. They’re my people. They bring the real me back out when I’m overwhelmed and lose sight of her.

I need to remember that my dreams and goals in life matter. No one can take that from me. Everyone is entitled to the life they always dreamed for themselves. DO NOT SETTLE.

Take a Breather

Stand tall, brush yourself off, and take a breather – you deserve it!

No one is going to judge you for wanting a minute (or a whole day…) to yourself. And if they do? Not your problem! The time gives you a chance to decompress and be the best version of you for your loved ones.

Spend some time alone, make some time for your best friends, and every time, Decide Bliss.

Nicky
Managing Editor at Decide Bliss
I'm Nicky - an office employee, writer, fur-mama, partner to one heck of a man, and semi-stepmother to his fantastic daughter. I'm constantly working on finding my balance and improving all aspects of my life - my health, my relationships, my communication skills - and finding the silver lining in every stumble along the way.
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2 thoughts on “Make Yourself and your Friends a Priority

  1. I love you and completely agree with everything you have written here! I had a blast with all of you ladies on Friday night and think we need to do silly things like that more often.

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